


in the middle of the ride

by cinderlily



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: But not between J and T, Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 11:53:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16095128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderlily/pseuds/cinderlily
Summary: There was nothing left to be said. Or, more specifically, there was so much left to be said that there was no way for it to be said. Either way, Jamie sat on the edge of his bed with his biggest bag packed in front of him, a backpack beside him and the slow feel of dread he had felt growing for the better part of the afternoon which grew exponentially with the footfalls from the hallway.





	in the middle of the ride

**Author's Note:**

> SO... I haven't written in hockey in forever, bear with me here. But I had the story pop in my head almost fully formed and wrote it from beginning to end which never happens. I hope you enjoy it.

There was nothing left to be said. Or, more specifically, there was so much left to be said that there was no way for it to be said. Either way, Jamie sat on the edge of his bed with his biggest bag packed in front of him, a backpack beside him and the slow feel of dread he had felt growing for the better part of the afternoon which grew exponentially with the footfalls from the hallway. 

The door opened and he blinked at the light. He hadn’t thought to turn the light on as the day had gone by. 

Michael stood there, tall and broad with jet black hair and pale blue eyes, his jacket in one hand and the usual frown he wore at the end of the day. It went rigid when he took a look at the bag and at Jamie. 

“What are you doing?” Michael said, his voice low and cautious like Jamie was some freaking horse to be subdued. He’d always used that voice, that stupid voice, on Jamie when he tried to talk rationally about things. It was almost enough to just get him to pick up the two bags and walk out but he wasn’t going out like that. 

He swallowed before speaking, aware suddenly he hadn’t done much eating or drinking in the last 8 or so hours. “So. I got home early today. Some voodoo shit happened, and all the guys got on the damn bus and on the plane on time. We took off at an earlier slot and traffic was light.” 

“That’s good,” Michael said, still that patronizing tone in his voice. 

“Yeah, it was good,” he said. “I was exhausted. I figured I’d get an early nap and get some shit done today. Funny thing though…” 

Even with the only light coming in the room coming from behind him, Jamie watched as Michael’s eyes widened. 

“The bed, you know, _our_ bed? Wasn’t empty. At nine in the morning. At first, I thought maybe you were sick. Then I looked a little harder. He was pretty slim, not as broad as you are. Good thing I didn’t slip into bed. You know. Two cheaters in a relationship would be pretty fucked up.” 

Michael went from the ‘calming tone’ to something more akin to a teenager desperately talking his parents out of being grounded. “Wait-wait-wait. It wasn’t like that…” 

“It wasn’t like that?” Jamie’s voice raised for the first time in the conversation. He stood up. “You are seriously thinking _that_ is the way to go with when it comes to me finding some rando in _our_ freaking bed? Cause first off? Fuck you. Secondly? I haven’t had a concussion in a while, fuck nut. You can’t pull that shit.” 

“It was a one-time thing,” Michael said. “One time. You’ve been on the road, and when you get home you are tired, I have been…” 

Whatever line that Jamie had in his head had been crossed. They’d had so many conversations about his job that he wasn’t even going to begin to have that same fight when it was being used against him. He flexed his arms. Grabbing the bag on the floor, swinging his backpack on his shoulder and double checking his cell phone was in his pocket. 

“You have one week to get out of my house.” 

He walked around Michael, who just barely got his hand on Jamie’s upper arm. Jamie turned and looked down at hand. He was angry enough that he could quite easily grab the fingers and smash them together tightly. Make Michael’s job a little harder, typing with one freaking hand. But he didn’t. He wouldn’t. He shrugged as hard as possible. 

Michael got the point. 

His car was maybe twenty steps from his bedroom, and he was surprised when he made it to the car before frustrated tears started. 

*

There were half a dozen places he could go to that night. People he knew who would take him in with little questions (Ritchie), people who would take him in with a lot of questions (Tyler), and maybe even people who he could just lie to (Hanzal). But he wasn’t in the mood for people, so he checked into the hotel by the arena, even if every fiber of his being hated hotels by this point in the season. 

He started getting texts from Michael an hour after he left, pleas that got crazier and crazier and he was pretty sure Michael was getting drunk. He ignored them. He ignored Michael’s calls as well. Which were frequent. He finally had to turn his phone on Do Not Disturb and flip it face down onto the desk farthest from his bed. 

He turned on the TV and watched an inordinate amount of Law and Order reruns and ate food entirely off plan from room service. He still made himself go to bed at a reasonable time because he was the Captain and he wasn’t going to show up late to practice. The shit he would get from it was deterrent enough. He set up two wake-up calls, still, just in case. 

*

He didn’t really sleep that night, even though he forced himself to lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling for the bulk of it. By the time the first of the wake-up calls rang he was already out of the shower and in a towel on the bed debating whether he would skip team breakfast or not. 

He had to go, he knew. It would look strange without him there, and he was going to try, for now, to go with painfully normal. So he started his routine, brushing his hair, his teeth and trimming at his unruly beard. There was a part of him that had wanted to shave it for a while, but if nothing else he knew Michael hated it so he figured he’d keep it a while longer. 

When he had nothing else to distract him with, he walked over to the desk and unplugged his phone. He wasn’t expecting the actual amount of messages he’d received, texts and phone calls. He just deleted all of Michael’s texts and the messages he left. He assumed if he opened his mailbox there would be emails. But there was more, so much more. His brother had sent him a few. Apparently, he’d been inches away from a Hattie, and he wanted to know if Jamie had been watching. His mom had sent him a picture of some pics of him as a kid that she was sending the front office, joy. His manager sent him the prelims on an offer for some charity work. 

Tyler had sent him two dozen text messages. Mostly, in the beginning, there were silly ones that Jamie had long since gotten used to from Tyler, but about halfway through he switched to annoyed and the last few texts were demands for a phone call. There were three missed calls from him, but no messages. All the calls came from within the last hour or so, causing Jamie’s stomach to drop almost worse than finding the dude in his bed the night before. 

There was something to be said about a Seguin on a mission, and Jamie had seen him on them too many times. He looked at the clock. He still had an hour before they were supposed to be at the arena. Which meant Tyler had been up early, which was mostly unheard of. His fingers itched as they hovered over the button to call him back. 

Which proved unnecessary, as Tyler’s face popped up on the back of his screen. He inhaled deeply and hit the enter button before he could let himself think about it. 

“Morning sunshine,” he tried. 

Tyler let out a grunt. “Are you fucking kidding me, Jamie?” 

“Take back the sunshine part then.” 

Tyler ignored him. “I went to your fucking house this morning.” 

Jamie inhaled. “Uh. I.. am… at the arena.” 

“ _Fuck you_ ,” Tyler snapped. “You are not. I saw _Magic Mike_ backing out in his stupid Audi. I asked him where you were and he said he didn’t know. Why doesn’t your boyfriend know where you are, Jamie?” 

The question sounded rhetorical, but Jamie was never one for nuance. “Ex-boyfriend. You saw my ex-boyfriend.” 

“Exactly what he said,” Tyler seethed. “And I said, ‘No, of course not.’ Because MY best friend would give me a heads up if he _broke up_ with his boyfriend. And then Magic Mike **drove off**. Which begs the question, Benn. Where _are you_?” 

Jamie, who had been rubbing at his face for most of the tirade forced himself to open his eyes. “Hotel near the arena.” 

“Where the freaking enemies stay? You realize you are more than likely a floor away from a freaking King?” 

It almost made him laugh, except he wasn’t quite up to laughing so it came out as a weird cough. “I’ll be sure to gird my loins, Segs.” 

“What room number? I’ll be there in ten. Twenty. No, fuck it. Ten.” 

He knew the distance of Tyler’s house to the arena, knew that even twenty was going to be a ticket. “You know, you’re going to end up having to hire a driver if you get any more tickets.” 

“Room number.” 

Why did he even try? “712.” 

“If I run into a King I will nut you myself.” 

He didn’t have to look at the phone to know he’d been hung up on. He avoided thinking about a pissed off Tyler driving on the highway by responding to his brother with a rather rude comment about his problem always being inches and then going on Twitter to find that nothing exciting had happened in the last day. Not that that should shock him. His Facebook was filled with pictures of his nephew, and he let that take the edge off of his own anxiety. 

It took little over fifteen minutes for the thumping on his door to startle him almost enough to drop his phone. He stood up and walked towards the door, but apparently not fast enough to Tyler’s liking as the thudding got louder. 

“ _Open up Benn_.” 

He had a brief image of Tyler’s head breaking through the thick wooden doors like Jonny’s in the Shining, and he walked a little faster to avoid having to pay for that damage. He opened the door just in time for Tyler to fall in as he had apparently been about to savage the door again. He caught him before he fell on his face, which was a shame actually. It might have actually been funny enough to make this less painful. 

“Thanks for using the last name,” Jamie said. “Now a full floor knows where I am.” 

Tyler didn’t take the bait. Instead he walked directly into the center of the room and looked around, his hands on his hips. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Staying.” 

“I see that, but like,” Tyler flailed a bit, seemingly running out of whatever steam had gotten him there. “You. What… What happened?” 

Jamie swallowed the lies he had been concocting through his sleepless nights. _We grew apart. He got a promotion and is moving away. I felt it was unfair to ask him to wait for me._ That would work on pretty much anyone else in the world except for Tyler. Tyler would sniff out the bullshit in a moment. 

“He cheated on me.”

Tyler’s jaw dropped, comically, chin almost touching his chest and eyes bulging out of his head. “Come again?” 

He didn’t want to have to repeat it. Didn’t want the embarrassment that came with the fact that it had happened but again, _Tyler_. He breathed in deeply and tried to come off as calm as possible. “We got home early yesterday, I got home to crash out for the morning before maybe working out or something in the afternoon. But there was someone else sleeping in my bed.” 

Calm was not in Tyler’s vocabulary. Any loss of energy from a minute before was overtaken when Tyler started to move again, like a firecracker, all of his limbs going out at the same time. “ _I will motherfucking kill that asshole._.” 

This was not the first time that Tyler had threatened to hurt Michael. Michael and Tyler had gotten on like oil and water. They didn’t like each other from day one, a pain in Jamie’s side for the nearly two years the two of them dated. He called him Magic Mike for as long as Jamie could remember, repeatedly stating that the guy had the personality of an old banana peel and the smell of a teenager who bought AXE for the first time. 

The only difference was that this time Jamie could see in his eyes that he might actually do it if given half a try. Jamie backed up against the door to the room and locked it. 

“Look, it wasn’t… It wasn’t working, and it was bad all around,” Jamie tried, even though it wasn’t right. He’d thought it was fine. He’d thought it was great even, but that wasn’t going to help the situation.

Tyler’s jaw clenched. “Jamie, don’t even begin to let this one slide. The fucker… the douchebag… He _cheated on you_. And why the hell are you even in a hotel? Shouldn’t you have set his shit on fire on your lawn?” 

“We might live in Texas, but we don’t actually live in a country song, Tyler. I gave him a week to get his stuff out and then…” 

“Then what? A week? Why not a freaking month? Are you kidding me? He _cheated on you_ ,” Tyler looked like he was the one that had been cheated on, but it was Jamie’s chest that ached every time that he was reminded of it. 

He lowered his voice. “I know, Tyler. I know, okay? I am aware. I saw the damn twink in our bed. I was the one who had to wake him up and ask him to leave. I was the one who had to wait around after I packed my bags for Mich-- him to show the fuck up. I was there.” 

Tyler had the sense to look abashed, he lowered his hands from his hips and stood a little straighter. He looked at Jamie for a long moment, weighing options like he would on the ice. Then he took Jamie by complete surprise and lunged himself at him to give him a tight hug. 

Not that they weren’t the kind of friends that hugged. Freaking Tyler had a habit of being more hands-on than most of Jamie’s boyfriends had ever been in the past. The strange part being that it was rarely so infused with emotions. They had been emotional in the past, seasons that ended too soon. Losing players to other teams. But this was something altogether different. 

Jamie sunk into it like a warm bathtub, his head having to lean down to reach Tyler’s shoulder. If Tyler noticed that his shoulder was a little damper than it should be, he didn’t say anything. They just clung to each other for a good solid few minutes before Jamie’s head came up for the sake of some semblance of dignity. His face was no doubt blotchy and red. 

He used the edge of his shirt to wipe at it for a moment before he just gave in and walked into the bathroom. The cool water from the sink was enough to make him feel slightly better. He worked hard to take slower breaths as he did before a game. Lower his blood pressure, steady his hands. He could do this. 

When he walked out to the bedroom he found Tyler seated on the bed, all of his stuff seemingly already packed away. Including his dirty clothes from the night before, his pajamas and his phone charger. 

“What the fuck, Ty?” 

“You’re coming home with me,” Tyler said like he was stating the weather. “Might as well check out before we go to morning skate.” 

Jamie blinked at him and looked at his bags, a weird mirror of the night before, thought about making token protests. But he knew one thing, that the night before had been shit, and he’d hated every moment of it. If he’d been at Tyler’s, at least, Tyler would have spent the evening kicking him into playing games. Cash would have ended up on the guest bed next to him. There would have been a _home_ rather than a soulless hotel room. He shrugged. 

“Okay.” 

Tyler beamed. “That’s my boy. Come on. Let’s get the hell out of here before we see fucking _Doughty_.” 

“Wouldn’t want that,” he said, and he allowed Tyler to take the bags for him. 

* 

Breakfast and practice were painfully normal, something that Tyler made sure of. He cracked jokes at all the rookies' expenses, a few of the older guys as well. He made up Jamie’s plate and over the top gave it to him with a loud ‘O Captain, my Captain.’ The group at his table made loud noises and commented about Tyler’s nose looking a little brown. 

It was like a play being put on that only he knew about. But it kept the attention off of him, and he couldn’t begin to thank Tyler for it. Though if he’d tried Tyler would’ ve probably kicked him under the table or made a rude gesture, no doubt. Something was comforting about it, even if he still felt like his chest was nearly broken open. He was lucky beyond measure at the fact that he had a family in Canada that loved him, and a family in Dallas that did the same. 

He ate his food mechanically, not even really sure what he got as Tyler had put it together. They had top-rated chefs who always went out of their way to put new twists on the foods that they were recommended. Even in the nearly decade he’d been with the Stars he usually appreciated it. Now it was fuel to get him through the day. 

There was a part of him that was angry at Michael for even taking that, but the thing was afraid if he let any real emotion start to take over he would meltdown. He’d had some shit days in his past, but he never let it roll over onto the team. He swallowed the anger down like any bite of the food, not tasting it at all. 

And the ice? The ice was the easiest place of all to turn off his emotions. He skated like his life depended on it and laid it out there, scoring three goals in a minute in the scrimmage. It took a head tap with a barely audible ‘Ease up, Jamie.’ to get him to realize it wasn’t the Stanley Cup.

* 

They got to Tyler’s house, a painfully close five minutes away from his house, at just past noon. Their call time for the night was five, which generally meant lunch and a nap were in order, but Jamie was distinctly not hungry and exceptionally exhausted, so he forfeited food to lie on the couch. 

Cash and Gerry landed on him within seconds of him getting on the couch and Cash sandwiched himself belly up against the sofa while Gerry nuzzled his head on Jamie’s stomach with his body on Jamie’s legs. Marshall, who was getting older and who had always been just a hair annoyed with his two younger brothers, lifted his head from the bed in the corner of the room. It was almost a head nod that Tyler would give him, and it made Jamie feel like laughing again, and to his surprise he actually did. 

Which startled the dogs who were on top of him, especially as the laughter kept going and turned nearly hysterical. Gerry leaped off but Cash just rolled over and licked at Jamie’s chin. It was surreal and hilarious and horrible all rolled into one. 

“What the fuck?” Tyler came in a turkey sandwich in his hand. “Are you high, fucker?” 

“No,” he stumbled out. “Fuck no. Marshall…” 

Marshall’s head tilted. 

“What? Did he do sign language? Tell a dirty joke?” 

Jamie was having a hard time breathing, and his stomach hurt and Cash was still licking him. “He nod- he nodded… he nodded at me.” 

He caught sight of Tyler just in time to see that this wasn’t nearly as funny to anyone other than him and even he didn’t find it really funny. It was just absurd. Everything was absurd. He tilted his head back and tried taking deep relaxing breaths but his lungs wouldn’t fill much, and he was gasping. 

And fuck. He was crying. Not the ‘laugh till you cry’ type of tears but the genuine tears he was trying to deny himself. His eyes were hot and prickly, and he found that the laughter had slowed to weird sobs and coughing mixed together. It was like a pressure valve had gone off in his chest, and he was trying desperately to turn it back to the off position, but nothing would work. 

He felt Cash being lifted off of him, heard a familiar whine from the dog. Then, just as suddenly, Tyler was where Cash had been, between the couch and Jamie. He was distinctly more of a weight on his chest. Tyler put his head on Jamie’s shoulder, his beard scratching against Jamie’s neck. Even though logically, the weight should be hindering his breathing, he felt himself slowly but surely begin to breathe normally again. 

Tyler wasn’t petting him like he sometimes did sarcastically, nor was he talking. Instead, he was curled up on Jamie’s side like a deformed starfish, clung to him with quiet regulated breathing like he was trying to remind Jamie what that was. Moments went by, then minutes, then it was probably too long, but Jamie put his arm up to cling back to Tyler. 

“I thought I really loved him,” he said, softly and with an embarrassing crack to his voice. “I thought that I was lucky enough to find someone who didn’t care that I was _Jamie Benn_ or that I had money. I thought he loved me. How fucking stupid am I?” 

To his utter surprise, Tyler hauled up and smacked him, albeit lightly, on the face. “Shut the fuck up, Jamie Benn. He should have loved you. He should have fucking begged at your feet. He was an idiot. Always was. He always bugged me..” 

“I _know_ ,” Jamie sighed. 

“No, you don’t,” Tyler said, facelifted off Jamie’s shoulder and too close to Jamie’s for him to see anything but his glare. “He never looked at you right. He never looked like he was actually listening to you. He was just … not enough. You’re not fucking stupid and don’t say that about my best friend again, fucker.” 

Jamie exhaled. “If this is how you treat your best friend, I wouldn’t want to see your enemy.” 

“Oh, you will see me with my enemy if not so Magic Mike is still in your house next Monday. I can’t believe you gave him a week. I wouldn’t have given him an hour.” 

Tyler laid his head back down on Jamie’s shoulder, and Jamie shrugged it slightly. “I wasn’t really thinking. I just wanted out. I wanted to be as far away from him as humanly possible at that point.” 

“You should’ve called me,” Tyler said, his voice a touch smaller than Jamie would expect. 

With a slightly bitter laugh, Jamie nodded. “Next time I will.” 

The smack on his chest was not unexpected but he still let out a yell. Tyler had some serious upper-arm strength. 

* 

Blessedly Jamie had his phone set to automatically wake him up every day at 3:30, as between one breath and another the two of them had fallen asleep. He woke to a pool of Seguin drool on his shirt, and to Tyler mumbling something about five more minutes. If he was honest, he would have given it to him had it not been for the pressing feeling of his bladder against Tyler’s body weight. 

“Get up, jerk, or I’m going to piss on you.” 

Tyler’s eyes jerked open. “I knew you were a kinky bastard, but that’s new even for you.” 

“No, seriously,” Jamie said, pushing at him with one hand. “I am going to pee. Would you like me to do it in the toilet or on you? GET UP.” 

Tyler begrudgingly swung himself over Jamie, mistaking the distance and falling off the couch straight onto his back. “FUCK.” 

“Dude,” Jamie peered over the edge to find Tyler looking at the ceiling. “Tell me nothing is broken, I am not explaining this to the guys.” 

“Fine, I’m fine. Go pee. I like that couch.” 

Jamie didn’t have to be told twice, so he stood up, walking over the still prone Tyler. He half jogged to the small guest bath off the main hallway and relieved himself. He caught a glimpse in the mirror to see that his face was still a little blotchy and gross and forced himself to splash some water on it. 

He came out to find Tyler seated on the couch. “You okay?” 

“Eh,” Jamie said. “Better than I was. Thanks.” 

Tyler shrugged, wiping at his beard and groaning. “I think the pups ate my turkey sandwich, pesky kids. My stomach is freaking empty.” 

“You know we have dinner in an hour and a half.” 

Tyler put on his best pout. “But we could snack?” 

“And you call the pups kids,” Jamie smiled. “Protein shake.” 

“You are tons of fun,” Tyler said. Jamie glared him down but Tyler frowned back. “That wasn’t a Chubbs reference.” 

Jamie didn’t quite sag in relief but he did exhale. Of all the people who knew his feelings about Chubbs, Tyler was one of the few who knew the stab that was for him. He walked towards the kitchen, he already knew where everything was. Before Mic… Before he’d more or less lived here in the season. Or Tyler lived at his place. It was generally a flux. 

While he went through the motions of making the protein shakes, adding bananas and a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream to Tyler’s so that he would be slightly appeased, he realized that while it felt like he’d just done this a week before that just wasn’t true. It had been months since the last time he’d made a protein shake for Tyler. Or _at_ Tyler’s. He found that he had to double check a couple drawers to figure out where things he would never have to think about were before. 

He walked out with the two shakes in his hand, sat down on the edge of the couch and half turned to hand Tyler his. 

“When was the last time we did this?” 

Tyler took a sip of his shake and smiled down at it. “Too fucking long, I didn’t even know I had bananas, dude. I love you.” 

Jamie frowned looking down into his shake. It was more traditional than Tyler’s, the only added thing was a little too much milk to the powder ratio. He wasn’t much for the taste of protein shakes, they were a necessary means to an end really, but he sipped and felt like it tasted wrong. 

“Sit back,” Tyler poked at him. “I’m turning on the TV and you’re back is in the way.” 

He slouched back and got as comfortable as possible, the TV turned instantly to the NHL network. A part of him, probably the part that has been a Captain for too long, would point out they needed to get in dress but he held that part back for as long as possible. They could probably get into their suits in five flat if they needed to, even if Tyler would fuck with his hair in the mirror the whole way to the arena. 

It was nice, just to be there. Listening to how annoyingly loud Tyler slurped his shake and his satisfied smack of lips that Jamie was a thousand percent sure was done to annoy him. To smell the weird mixture of scents that was Tyler, sweat and body spray and that weird unknowable layer of _Tyler_ which was somehow as close to _home_ as he’d gotten since Jordie left. The way the couch dipped them together, close enough to feel each other but not too close as to be weird. (Though really, they slept on each other. Whatever.) 

He finished his shake and placed it on the coffee table, which startled Tyler. 

“Jamison, _coaster_.” 

Jamie blinked owlishly at Tyler. “ _Coaster_? Since when have you cared about freaking coasters?” 

“Since I bought a natural wood coffee table for five grand,” Tyler slipped the coaster under the cup, which was empty Jamie would’ve pointed out if he wasn’t so fascinated with the fact that the coffee table was, in fact, different. 

“Five grand?” 

Tyler shrugged. “It’s got character. They like cut down this tree and sanded it and put some resin and shit but it’s old. And mine. I bought it last summer in Cali with Daddy.” 

“You went to California with Demers?” 

“Yeah, for two weeks,” Tyler said, and he could feel the flop of Tyler’s back. “Dude, are you slacking on my Insta? You fucker. I work hard on that.” 

Usually that would be a wide open space for him to knock Tyler down a peg but instead, he just moved back into the couch and checked the clock. They had _maybe_ ten minutes left until they had to haul ass. He felt like he should ask questions, maybe even open up said Instagram but yet he just sat there. 

Something felt wrong, and it wasn’t just about the last twenty-four hours. 

*

The game that night did not go their way. He couldn’t even blame it on his headspace, the whole team just didn’t play well. While going through the scrum, he tried to focus on the things that he had done wrong, not play up what the others had failed at but his heart really wasn’t into it. He kept asking for people to repeat questions and lost his way mid-sentence more than he felt comfortable with. 

In the end though, he got through it and even managed to stumble through a workable ‘We’ll work through it and get to the other side’ to the team at the end of it. It wasn’t his best speech necessarily, but it was workable and that was more than he thought possible for the night. 

He packed his gear up and waited as Tyler talked with Spezza about whatever the two of them always seemed to get caught up in after games. Elie stopped to talk to him about a play that apparently he thought was entirely his fault, whereas Jamie though it might have been more on Klingberg, not that he would say that to another player. He tried to console him without pointing fingers but after a minute he was relieved to feel a hand on his shoulder. 

“Yo, Benn. My bed is calling my name and you have the car keys.” 

The nice thing was that no one questioned the two of them going home together. They shared a car often, or at least a decent amount. So Jamie told Elie they could go over it the next day, maybe even try and recreate it to get a better result. Elie looked relieved and he wasn’t THAT much younger than him but man he made him feel old. 

“Give me the keys,” Tyler said as they got into the parking lot. “You look dead on your feet and I don’t want to die tonight.” 

“My car,” he gave a token protest but tossed the keys at Tyler. “You dent it I will hurt you.” 

Tyler rolled his eyes as he shoved his bag into the trunk and grabbed for Jamie’s bag. “Yeah, watch me shake.” 

They slipped into their seats and Jamie leaned his head back. He was, as usual, just amped enough after games that he needed time to come down from it when he got home. Since Michael, he’d usually come home to a decent session of sex and then fell asleep with a warm body beside him. He felt exhausted but still had that adrenaline running through him. He could barely remember what he was supposed to do. 

“You okay?” Tyler asked, a tone of forced casual. 

Jamie shrugged. “Yeah. Just. Adrenaline, you know?” 

“Yeah, I gotcha,” Tyler said, eyes focused on the road as he changed lanes. Jamie didn’t even let himself check the speed gauge. “Wanna play some video games when we get home? Or we could go for a swim.” 

It was January, which in any other place he’d ever lived would have meant a good laugh at a swim, but it was still warm enough outside that the pool was a good option. He thought idly if he had actually packed a swimsuit. He hadn’t been packing with the best mindset. He’d been proud he’d remember more than one suit and a few pair of sleep pants, especially as he was sleeping at Tyler’s house. 

“Yo, dude,” Tyler said, with a snap of his fingers. “Where’d you go just then?” 

Jamie shook his head. “A swim might work. I don’t know if I have a bathing suit.” 

“Skinny dip, mother fucka!” 

“No,” Jamie frowned. 

Tyler sighed. “Just wear underwear, prude. Or go nude. You know I see your junk like every game day, right? There isn’t any mystery left in our friendship.” 

“Fuck you,” he said. “You follow the rules, man. Ignore the dick.” 

Tyler laughed. “I think I can say without a doubt you don’t follow that rule.” 

Jamie rolled his eyes, glad for the dark car ride hiding his blush. “I do in the locker room, perv.” 

“Well, you didn’t specify and you know… you _don’t_. Ignore it,” Tyler said and it wasn’t even chiding. Jamie shrugged it off as another of Tyler’s random moments. 

Since Jamie had actually came out to Tyler and a few years later to the core group of the team, it had been this weird thing. Tyler bringing up and reminding him of the fact that he was gay. Like on a random day he’d forget and Tyler’s reminder would be a shocking fact. It had been brought out when other people had come out of the closet, when they were near an _actual_ closet, and in general if Jamie mentioned anything about a guy. Jamie gave up calling him on it after about a year. 

“I’ve got Under Armor,” Jamie mused. “We should go for a swim. Maybe keep the dogs out of it though. Wet dog smell is not how I like to sleep.” 

“Hey, which of my kids are you stealing?”

Jamie shrugged. “Stealing is unnecessary. Cash’ll be next to me whether you like it or not.” 

“Freaking Cash. You spoiled him as a pup.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. “ **I spoiled him**? You let that dog run the house for the first two years. Poor Marshall was a put upon older brother. And again with Gerry.” 

“Aww, my boys,” Tyler grinned, and Jamie saw his teeth glint in the light of the mirror. They turned into Tyler’s garage and even though it was Jamie’s car, he slid into the empty parking space. Jamie hadn’t even notice him move his H3 or give him a door opener. Tyler must have noticed the look on Jamie’s face as he shrugged. “Don’t want you thinking you’re a guest.” 

Jamie felt a pressure behind his eyes, but fucking hell. He wasn’t crying _again_ that day. 

They entered the house and Tyler went to let the hooligans in, who came charging to Jamie and jumping on him. 

“I see how it is,” Tyler called out from the door. “You’re ungrateful bums!” 

Jamie laughed. “I’m more fun.” 

“Well, jokes on them,” Tyler came walking back in. “You’re the one keeping them from super fun water time.” 

Marshall and Gerry jumped up on Tyler, while Cash stuck near Jamie, licking at him and butting his nose against Jamie’s palm. He was a sucker for all the dogs, but damn if Cash didn’t have his heart. He gave him a good rub down and then looked over at Tyler. 

“P-O-O-L?” 

“They can’t actually spell,” Tyler said, though he scrubbed Marshall’s ears. “Even if my boy is a total genius.” 

“Do you want me to say W-A-L-K?” 

Tyler flinched. “Okay, okay. Fair point. Go to your room and put on your Under Armor. Meet you out in like five. I’ll feed them and pin em in the laundry room for a while.” 

As soon as the word ‘Feed’ slipped out of Tyler’s mouth all three dogs went from ‘you’re home’ to totally attacking Tyler, nipping at his feet. Jamie just raised his eyebrows and smiled and Tyler nodded at him like he got it. 

Jamie walked to his room, or the guest room, and dug through his bag to find some pitch black Under Armor. He debated putting on the shirt with it, not like he was too modest, but he had some dignity. He was up against Tyler freaking Seguin. Not that he allowed himself to think of that in that way. It wasn’t even entirely like that, it was just a fact. Tyler was just. Tyler. 

He threw on the top, even though he could hear the chirps that were inevitably coming his way. If he got outside and in the pool before Tyler there was a better chance the chirps would end quicker than if Tyler caught him out of the pool in it. 

He slipped out his door and through the kitchen, making it outside just as the sliding glass from Tyler’s room opened up. Tyler was in his own underwear, which just figured. He took one look at Jamie and rolled his eyes so hard that even Jamie could feel it. “Shirt off, Jamison.” 

“I didn’t think you were that kind of girl, Segs,” he tried brushing it off, walking to the lit up pool. He didn’t have to actually touch it to know that Tyler probably had the heat going, not that they needed it. 

“Dude, I am literally in my underwear for you, get the shirt off,” Tyler said from behind him. “When did you get so freaking prude?” 

He swallowed around the urge to say that there had been a few times that Michael had made off handed comments about how he was built more like a sturdy house than he’d imagined hockey players to be built. How he’d cited players like Geno Malkin and even Tyler as examples. They hadn’t been direct insults, maybe not even insults, but he hadn’t exactly appreciated the sentiments. That coupled with the young tight abbed dude in his bed the day before. 

Yeah. His shirt felt a lot more comfortable. 

But again, Tyler had the look of a man on a mission. If it meant not explaining the whole Michael thing, which might end up with Tyler beating the crap out Michael and ending up in jail… He sighed and slipped his shirt off. He all but jumped into the pool, but he heard the whooping from Tyler as he did so. 

He came up for air and Tyler was in the pool already, against the side with a shit eating grin on his face. “You been doing squats? Your gluteus is definitely at it’s maximus.” 

“Shut the hell up,” Jamie splashed water at Tyler. “Did you spray paint your abs on this morning or…?” 

Tyler lunged at him, trying and failing to get him in a headlock. Jamie had long arms and had been weight training. Tyler flailed at him like a little kid and Jamie laughed. It felt good, and he let his hand down. He moved his head just in time, grabbed at Tyler and ducked him underwater. 

They horsed around for awhile. Fighting back and forth and taking turns being the winner and then the loser. Then slowly it eased into lazy swimming around in the water. Jamie felt warm and happy and relaxed, his muscles easing up and the feeling of adrenaline eased up. Tyler floated on his back, looking up at the sky.

“Yo, Jamie,” Tyler lifted his head. 

Jamie blinked at him. “What?” 

“You know I love you, right?” 

Jamie knew that. They said it, a lot. “Yeah, bud. I love you too.” 

Tyler was silent for long enough that he figured he might actually have just said it to say it. But then he added. “Why didn’t you just come here last night? I’ll fucking kill Michael, man.”

“That was kind of the reason,” Jamie stood up, the part of the pool he’d been swimming barely at 5 feet. “Jail time is bad for hockey playing.” 

Tyler grunted, still floating on his back. “Worth the jail time.” 

He knew that Tyler was mostly peacocking, that he was pissed and that even if Michael was there right then the most he’d do was get up in his face and yell, but Jamie wouldn’t lie that the image was nice. He slid down and onto his back purposefully aiming his head towards Tyler’s. 

“He was a shitty lay,” he said, mostly to get a laugh which Tyler gave him. 

“He is a shitty human.” 

That wasn’t something Jamie needed to rebut. The fact that Michael wasn’t, not _really_ , was pretty much the reason he hurt so much. Michael had been a nice guy. Yeah, he had his dick moments but most of the time he had been … nice. He’d remembered dates well, their first kiss and the first time they went on a real-life date. He’d sent texts while Jamie was on the road to make him smile. Mostly of his face contorted with captions like, ‘Would you still like me if I looked like this?’ or pictures of him brushing his teeth in the bathroom mirror. But it was comforting. 

And it was gone. He’d lost it, or it had been stolen from him. 

It was quiet and the water was just the right side of too warm, making time pass in a weird haze. But he was brought back to focus when his body and Tyler’s hit each other and Tyler jerked suddenly. 

“Dude,” Jamie said, smiling spread across his face. “Were you sleeping?” 

Tyler, who had been blinking furiously, wiped at his mouth and left drops of water in his beard. “Naw?” 

Jamie forced himself back to standing, stunned to find they were in maybe 3 feet of water. He looked over at Tyler, who had stood as well, but was wobbly a bit on his feet and shook his head. “Bedtime, I guess.” 

“Yeah, our jerk of a Captain has a thing about punctuality,” Tyler pushed at him. 

“He must really care about winning or something,” Jamie said, then as he took the stairs in front of Tyler added. “Or he knows your sorry ass needs as much practice as a person can take.” 

He felt the familiar slap on his backside and automatically kicked back. His foot met the fleshy expanse of Tyler’s thigh. 

“That was too close for comfort, Benn,” Tyler said, letting out an oof. 

Jamie turned back and smiled. “My aim is getting shitty in my old age.” 

They grabbed towels that Tyler had brought out from his bathroom, oversized green and fluffy. Jamie wrapped it around his waist and shook his hair a bit to get the water out. Tyler let out a yelp. 

Tyler laughed. “You giant freaking puppy, the towels are for drying.” 

“Cha,” Jamie shrugged. “But it’s more fun that way.” 

“Loser.” 

“Jerk.” 

There was a weird lulling moment of silence before Tyler looked at his sliding glass doors. “I’ll let the pups out. Expect Cash at your door in two minutes. Get some actual sleep.” 

“I’m the Captain,” Jamie groused but turned towards the door. “Night Ty.” 

He heard the door slide open and then his name. He turned to find Tyler hanging out the door. “Hey.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m not kidding, sleep, man. I got Melatonin.” 

Jamie shook his head. “I’m good. I’ll konk out on my own.” 

Tyler smiled. “Night.” 

“Night.” 

* 

Cash ended up in his bed curled up on the other side of the bed. Jamie didn’t mind the rather loud breathing or the smell of dog when it came to the fact that he didn’t feel as alone with the familiarity of weight near him in the bed. He fell asleep easily, exhausted from not sleeping the day before and the game that night. 

He had half muddled dreams of his house, Michael and he in bed mashed with Cash instead of Michael and then Tyler walking in. Tyler lying on the other side of Cash, making faces and laughing. Jamie would reach out to touch him but never quite made it across the bed, Cash always there. Tyler said something, Jamie’s name rolling off his tongue with the sweetest of Tyler’s smiles. He knew that he should respond but didn’t know how. He reached out again and was maybe an inch away when a noise made him look back. The last thing he remembered was an image of Michael in the doorway before the _Cool Kids_ started playing on his phone to wake him up. 

Cash was still there but it wasn’t his room. He had to blink to get his brain back online. Bits and pieces of the dream coming in and out of his brain, slipping through his fingers when he tried to take hold of them. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he was supposed to remember something in it. Something had been important. 

All he could remember was Cash, who had taken the opportunity to lick at his face. 

“Morning buddy,” Jamie laughed, pushing the dog back. If dog breath was bad, morning dog breath was unholy. He had to piss and he couldn’t quite shake the dream out of his head.

He rolled out of bed and into the hallway, down to the guest bathroom. He already had a toothbrush there, it was probably too old to be completely healthy but after he’d peed he brushed his teeth, washed his face and walked back to grab Cash. He knew for a fact that there was no way Tyler was awake, so he leaned his head into the already opened door to Tyler’s wrong and called Marshall and Gerry. 

When he let them out to the backyard they all giddily barked, which would have worried him if it weren’t for the fact that Tyler could sleep through the Armageddon. He put on some coffee and sat at the table. While the coffee brewed he scrolled through his phone. There were more messages from Michael. Considerably less than the night before, which he took as a good sign he guessed. 

He didn’t delete them. He just left them in his mailbox and ignored the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach about it. He answered the other messages in the box and even braved his email to see if anything important had come through. Other than the basic information and a contract for the charity work from the day before there wasn’t anything interesting. He started idly checking Twitter when he heard familiar footfalls from the hallway. 

Tyler walked in, wearing just his boxers and rubbing at his right eye with his palm. “Coffee?” 

“Yup,” Jamie said, aware anything he said right then wouldn’t penetrate the sleep haze that Tyler was in. 

The machine seemed to be full, or at least he hoped as Tyler was not above just pulling the bowl out and letting the drip burn the plate. He’d tried getting Tyler a Keurig once, but apparently, that didn’t count as coffee to him. He couldn’t help but appreciate that even in his haze Tyler grabbed two mugs and filled them before he came over and put them on the table. 

“Thanks,” Jamie said and Tyler just half shrugged. 

Nothing was said for a long few minutes as Tyler sipped at the coffee and muddled through getting himself into reality. Jamie didn’t mind, he was used to it. He went back to Twitter, where nothing of interest was happening. His brother had posted something in French, which was funny as fuck to Jamie as the dude had spent the better part of their childhood making their sister do his French homework. Jamie sent him a DM with the tweet in question and a simple, _How does one say ‘pretentious fuck’ in french?_

“You are my favorite,” Tyler said, finally, but he was looking into his cup. 

Jamie quirked a brow. “You talking to the coffee or me there bud?” 

“Both are good,” Tyler smiled. “But more you. Forgot what it was like to wake up to the smell of coffee.” 

“Ty, your machine has an auto feature. You put coffee in the night before and it turns on and makes it for you. That’s why you had to get the most expensive one.” 

Tyler shrugged. “But you do it better.” 

“You make Jordie look normal.” 

He had about four seconds to put the coffee cup down before he was in a headlock. “Take it back, Benn!” 

Jamie did his best to fight back but was at a significant disadvantage with the fact that Tyler was on his back and stood while Jamie sat. Tyler wasn’t choking him hard or anything, but he was messing with Jamie’s hair and Jamie finally got his elbow back to meet Tyler’s side. 

“OOOF. Unfair, dude!” 

Jamie got up and took Tyler’s head under his arm. “I’ll show you unfair.” 

“Hey,” Tyler protested. “CHEATER!” 

The wrestled around, mostly playfully with the occasional knock of one of them forgetting it was supposed to be pretend. He thought maybe the kitchen wasn’t the best place to do wrestle, but it had never stopped them before. All was well until Tyler, still in his boxers and nothing else, was sweaty and slippery and the warm expanse of skin and sweat and familiar scent went straight to Jamie’s dick. 

Which was not buddies.

Not buddies at all. 

He forced himself to sit back down with the coffee, which must’ve caught Tyler just off guard because he almost tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor but caught himself at the last second. “Calling in defeat? Already? What are you some kind of pussy?” 

Jamie cleared his throat. “Too easy, I just wanted some coffee.” 

“Just keep telling yourself that, Jamison,” Tyler flipped his hair back and ran his fingers through it. He sat down and took his mug. “I’ll just sit here and drink my coffee. It tastes of victory, so much sweeter.” 

Jamie focused on thinking about drills they’d run, players who needed to be talked to, and pretty much anything he could think of that was not Tyler’s sweaty self pressed up against him. Tyler, oblivious as always, talked for a few minutes and while it didn’t _help_ it provided Jamie with just enough time to get himself under control before he could safely stand up and make Tyler go and get ready. 

*

They didn’t have a game, so after morning practice Tyler decided they needed a lunch out of the house. It was a nice enough sentiment, even if Jamie was a little tired and still had the urge to just go back to the house and hide. He bit back the complaints, as he was aware of Tyler’s intentions. Operation: ‘Distract the Benn’ was a full go. 

Having been the one to do it for his brother after the monster that was his ex girlfriend broke up with him four times in the span of a year, he quickly figured out it was more enjoyable on the other side. They went to a fancy sushi place, one that they were not dressed for but were seated at the bar either way. 

He had loved sushi, but Michael had hated it, and though he got it on the road, it was nice to be able to dig in while they were local. Tyler ordered a boat, which was hit or miss with Jamie but this time it was a total hit. The two devoured the whole thing which, he was ninety percent sure it was made four a table of four but that didn’t matter. 

Tyler made some solid jokes that almost had Jamie snorting rice, so he retaliated by getting a huge bowl of wasabi and making passing jokes about Tyler’s manliness, which led to Tyler drinking about a gallon of water. 

 

After sushi Tyler casually mentioned seeing the new Avenger flick and sure, he wanted to see the new Avenger flick but not as a way to keep him from a well earned pity party. But Tyler was nothing if not aggressively passive aggressive when he needed to be so he went along.

The problem was, naturally, the movie theater they liked the most was the movie theater that was near their houses. The movie theater that happened to be about a half a mile from Michael’s work.

It wasn’t like Michael would be seeing a movie in the middle of the day, Jamie kept up the chant in his head. He wouldn’t leave work to go see a movie. He wouldn’t. 

The painful thing being, that even though he knew that he didn’t think beyond that. Because a movie would be out of the question, but he _would_ go to lunch at 12:45 in the afternoon at a little restaurant that was near the movie theater. 

He saw him before either Michael saw him or Tyler saw Michael and he desperately tried his best to move both Tyler and himself out of the way, going so far as to push Tyler towards a Hot Topic. 

“What the fuck, Benn, you really need a Good Charlotte shirt? I mean, I didn’t _see_ you get your head hit in practice but…” Tyler trailed off and his face went from good natured ribbing to the face that had gotten him in the sin bin way too many times. 

Jamie’s stomach fell to the floor, his heart beat pounded so loudly in his ears he couldn’t hear what Tyler said next. “Tyler, please, could you just…?” 

Of course when Jamie turned to the small raised table Michael was at his eyes were directly on him. He had a weird smirk on his face, one that was probably not good for any of the parties. Jamie swallowed around whatever hopes he had of escaping the moment and insteads walked forward. Quick and painless, he could do it. 

He grabbed Tyler by the forearm and walked past the restaurant. 

“I knew it, I fucking knew it.” 

Because of course the asshole couldn’t keep his mouth shut for the whole twenty seconds it would have taken to pass them by. Under his fingers, Jamie felt Tyler flex, his muscles almost hurting Jamie’s hand. 

“Knew what?” Tyler turned. 

“Seguin,” Jamie ‘Captain voiced’ him but it didn’t work often on the ice. 

Michael, who was at a table on the patio with two people Jamie half recognized from Michael’s office parties, stood up. “Couldn’t last four days without going to your freaking backup boyfriend. Or maybe _I_ was the backup.” 

“What the f--?” Jamie started but Tyler jumped forward. 

“It doesn’t matter who the fuck the backup was,” Tyler snapped. “As you made Jamie the backup and I think you’ll find that was your first mistake. Second was doing it with me in a five mile radius. Third is your douchey haircut. Just in general.” 

Michael had a hedge in front of him, and it would almost be amusing if it weren’t for the absolute sea of people with camera phones around them. It had TMZ and Puck Daddy and all the bad things that he knew Tyler had spent years fighting off flashing in Jamie’s mind. He took a step forward and grabbed Tyler’s forearm as hard as he actually could, using sheer force and him being stunned to pull him back.

“You better fucking move out sooner than later, Not So Magic Mike,” Tyler said, seemingly having to get the last dig in.

When they got far enough away that Tyler seemed to get his head back on, he pulled his arm out of Jamie’s grasp. Jamie had gone from nervous, to slightly annoyed, to freaking pissed as they had walked and Tyler was not one to miss that kind of mood swing on Jamie. They knew each other too well and too long to get away with it. 

“What?” 

“You couldn’t have just left it alone?” 

Jamie fumed, he had turned them towards the parking lot but was seriously debating finding an Uber. Even if he was going to the same place as Tyler. “He started it.” 

He halted mid step. “Are you fucking joking?” 

“What? He did.” 

“You could have just let him have his stupid moment, Tyler.” 

Tyler frowned. “He fucking cheated on you, Jamie. He cheated on you and he had the balls to say some shit about you moving on? Like he had a fucking leg to stand on.” 

“I was are of all that,” Jamie said. “I also saw the camera phones. Did _you_?” 

“Fuck me,” Tyler paused, finally looking abashed. “Did people get it?” 

Jamie could punch him, and would consider an accidental friendly fire on the ice, but instead he turned and walked towards Tyler’s car. Not that he had keys, but he was aware again that the city had eyes. He loved his iPhone a little too much, but he would give anything to not have that following him everywhere. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be an actual celebrity. 

“Jamie, what are you doing?” Tyler had caught up to him, was jogging next to him as Jamie might not have a huge height advantage but he’d played catch up with both of his siblings for long enough to walk as fast as he could when it was warranted. 

“Getting to the car.” 

Tyler scoffed. “I see that, but what do you think you’ll do when you get there. I’m the one with the keys.” 

“I will call fucking Uber and drive back to my own fucking house.” 

It was meant to be a rather idle threat, mostly bred of annoyance not an actual threat, except Tyler threw his arm out and stopped Jamie dead in his tracks. 

“Where Michael is living? To _Michael_?” 

The look on Tyler’s face was nothing short of pure betrayal. He looked like Jamie had kicked him, or even worse, one of the dogs. Jamie had to focus on being annoyed rather than fall over himself to ask for forgiveness even if he didn’t really have anything to apologize for.

They were maybe ten feet from Tyler’s car, so he pointed at it. “Unlock.” 

“You’re not calling Uber?” 

Jamie frowned. “Unlock the car, Tyler.” 

Tyler obliged and didn’t even bitch when Jamie slid in the driver’s seat. He needed to sit there. He needed the ability to leave when he needed to. He needed some form of control in that moment. 

“I’m not going back to my house until Michael is gone,” Jamie said, after turning the car on. “I’m **not** going back to him. Cause that would be hella dumb and I try and limit my stupidity most of the time. But you don’t think there is going to be videos’ of you defending my fucking honor on PuckDaddy tonight?” 

Tyler went ashen. “Fuck. Fuck.” 

“I’m already the mostly out Captain, now I’m the Damsel in Distress. It’s going to look fucking awesome, Seguin.” 

“Is there a male word for Damsel?” 

Jamie groaned. “Does it matter? I’m still going to be a _DAMSEL_. And G-d, you need to get your manager ahead of the fact that Michael all but said we were dating.” 

Tyler shrugged. “Fuck that. I don’t care. If people have a problem with that they can take it up with me.”

That wouldn’t end absolutely horribly. Jamie couldn’t shake the feeling that Tyler wasn’t getting the actual weight of this whole thing. Tyler was smart which was the truly fucked up shit about this, but sometimes he wasn’t great with common sense. He had the habit of being a total dumbass when it came to reality. 

Jamie looked behind them and put the car in reverse. Tyler put his hand on top of Jamie’s hand to pause him. 

“Wait, where the hell are you going?” 

“Home, Tyler, we are going home. I’m tired. There are probably people somewhere behind us waiting for us to either fight or fuck and I don’t want to be in the car all afternoon.” 

Tyler let out a weird hum. “But like, my house, right?” 

“Yes,” Jamie sighed. “Your house. The dogs probably need to be let out.” 

“The walkers just left like half an hour ago,” Tyler shrugged. 

They drove for a few minutes in silence. Jamie’s brain was going too fast for him to actually catch up. He had to call his manager. They had been preparing for the fallout if and when Michael was caught out to be his actual boyfriend not his ‘buddy’ who lived with him. He wasn’t stupid. It had been working for a while, but there was going to be an expiration date. 

He didn’t know how to figure Tyler into the deal. 

“You know, I could be down for a nap,” Tyler said, as they got into their neighborhood.

Jamie’s fingers gripped tightly against the steering wheel and kept his eyes on the road. “Tyler. This is a thing. This could be a big thing.”

Tyler shrugged. “Look, I probably shouldn’t have yelled as loud as I did, but I would do it again. Fucker deserved it.” 

“You aren’t taking this seriously enough,” Jamie teeth were clenched. “Why are you not taking this seriously?” 

They turned onto the street that Tyler lived on, just two blocks west of Jamie’s house. He wanted to yell, to pull the car over, even if he could see Tyler’s house from where they were, and shake him. Tyler could have his world fall around his ears in the next few days and he wasn’t allowing himself to see it. He drove and opened the garage, seeing his car parked next to the empty slot. He should pack his gear and get back to the hotel. Keep distance between them, lessen the fallout. 

“What if they think we’re dating?” Tyler said. 

Jamie frowned. “Then you will be outed, Tyler.” 

“I’m _bi_ , Jamie.” 

Jamie rolled his eyes. “ **I** know that, dumb ass. But do you think that matters to Joe Homophobia?” 

“Fisher,” Tyler grimaced. 

“Yeah. Fisher. Rinaldo. Shaw. Probably a few guys on our team, honestly,” he said, and flinched. It was a not talked about fact that he lived with Michael, but he knew that the reason it wasn’t talked about was because it was _he_ didn’t talk about it. 

“Jordie would kill Shaw.” 

They were still seated in the car, just parked, again. Jamie pinched at his nose and rubbed at the corners of his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Even if we had someone on every team in our corner, it _doesn’t matter_. Do you know how crazy it might actually be? And there is no way we can talk people out of thinking we’re together after you rode in our your freaking steed or whatever back at the restaurant.” 

Tyler was completely silent for a while. Long enough that Jamie went from staring at the bike mounted on the wall in front of the car to turn to him. Tyler had his face screwed up, he wasn’t facing Jamie. He just seemed to keep his eyes focused forward. 

“Dude, is it hitting you? Should I call John? Amber?” 

“John? Amber?” Tyler turned, finally, and Jamie saw genuine confusion. It cleared up and then he shook his head. “Fuck that, Jamie. I told you. I don’t care. I mean. Yeah, it’ll suck for a while. But. It wouldn’t suck to be with you. It wouldn’t suck to be your boyfriend, or for people to think it. Like. Hell, man. I would like that.” 

Jamie shook his head, blinked. But it didn’t seem to make the moment flip back to where it had been. “Are you… are you serious? What the hell do you even mean?” 

“I hated Michael.” 

“I get that.” 

“No, I hated him _before_ I met him,” Tyler said. “I hated him because he was with you. Then I like met him and yeah, fuck. I _hated_ Michael. He was the type of douche that I wouldn’t let my sister’s within a four hundred mile radius of.” 

Jamie couldn’t help but point out, “Not that that would have been a problem.” 

Tyler, however, ignored him. “But you liked him. You freaking liked him. And I hadn’t seen you like someone in the whole time I’ve been here. So I swallowed my pride and hung out with him. Even though he was a relationship vampire and all of a sudden you were too busy. I hated that, too. But if you were happy, I could deal with it.” 

“Thanks?” Jamie didn’t know exactly if that was what needed to be said but he also knew that Tyler was only partially paying attention. His eyes were forward again, he had his right hand stroking at his beard and he was fiddling with a hole in his jeans with his left. 

“Then he fucking _cheated on you_ and I wanted to push his head into the ice and see how cold I could get his freaking jaw. But you were hurt. But also you were … here. And I was selfish, cause it felt good. To have you here. I liked having you here. Again. I missed it. I missed everything about it.” 

Jamie swallowed and waited for another sentence to start but when he felt it safe to break in he did. “Tyler, what the fuck, dude?” 

“Do you want to date me?” Tyler turned his full attention to him again. 

“Shut up, Tyler.” 

Tyler shook his head. “Fuck off. Do you want to date me? Cause if you don’t that’s like cool or whatever, we can pretend I went mental for a minute but … I’m not going mental. I want to date you.” 

Jamie opened the car door and slammed it, did the same with the door to the house. He was met with three rather perturbed dogs, who nevertheless started jumping on him, which hindered his progress forward. He had to get to his room. He had to get forward. 

“JAMIE, WHAT THE FUCK?” Tyler bellowed, even though he was only a couple feet behind him. “I told you we could call it mental, you don’t have to be a dick.” 

His hands fisted at his side, Jamie turned around. “ _Do I want to date you_? Are you really pulling that on me? Cause. I get your whole, _thing_ , Tyler. I get that you might think it’s a good idea. And I get that you are bi. But I’m broken fucking goods, dude. You know that. Why would a guy cheat on me? Because I’m lacking. And you would find me lacking. And then our entire friendship would be over. And we’re together. We’re in this. We’re not doing this and then ruining the team in the process.” 

Tyler, who had Gerry practically on his freaking face, stormed forward and pushed past his dogs to grab Jamie by the face and bring their faces together. It wasn’t a kiss so much as some sort of conversation without words. It was angry and full of hurt and Jamie was unsurprisingly turned the hell on, which made him pissed off. Tyler pulled back. 

“Who the FUCK said you were broken goods? Did that douche bag say that? Cause I know where he is. I’ll fucking kill him, Jamie. I’ll fucking KILL him.” 

There was little doubt this time in Jamie’s mind, which made him want to deny it. “It’s not hard to figure out, Ty. You find a built guy half your size in your bed and it’s not hard to see where the problem is.” 

“Yeah, _Michael_ is the problem. You are not broken goods. You aren’t. And fuck him for even starting to make you think that. Fuck you for letting him do that.”

“Hey?” 

Tyler kissed him again. “I’ve hated your boyfriend for two years because _I_ wanted to be your boyfriend, dumbass. And I am not exactly made of pure porcelain here. Maybe we both got some jagged edges. But we’ll fit that shit together. Fix it together.” 

Jamie had no response to that. He just kind of gawked. Tyler smiled. 

“I can be deep sometimes.” 

“This can’t… be a thing. The team…” Jamie started. Tyler kissed him, slow and sweet and lingering. The dogs yipping at his feet. 

“The team, like us, will be fine. In fact. We’ll be fucking Epic, Jamie Benn. Do you believe me?” 

Jamie wanted to believe him. He wanted to push him against the wall and pin him there for a good ten minutes, as fuck. Tyler Seguin wanted him. But he didn’t know what all of that meant. He blinked for a minute, Tyler bit his lower lip and it drew Jamie’s attention. Jamie knew a thousand reasons he was doing something completely stupid but he couldn’t help himself from leaning in and biting on Tyler’s lip as well. 

“See,” Tyler said, smugly, when Jamie pulled back. “ _Epic_.” 

Jamie smiled despite himself. “Epic.” 

They eventually napped, like the day before, curled up on the couch, but that was after a long interlude. The dogs were put in the backyard. Tyler figured there were somethings his kids didn’t need to witness.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle".


End file.
